From This to That

Hmm you've changed, I mean you towards me, since last time we met.

After the last time, I was like pretty sure I'm in love with you while you kept telling me things like you enjoyed being single, you're not ready and all sorts of stuff. And you always tell me that I love you more than you do. Well, I can't think of a reason not to admit that until this time. And I've been giving myself various excuses when it comes to all those temptations.

And this time, I do feel that you've changed, Although you didn't tell or you might not have realized yourself, that you love me. While you are still telling me that I love you more than you do and I'll start to think about it now. And, I'll not be able to persuade myself with those excuses anymore, because I started to feel my responsibility to you. And I felt like I've hurt you before using those excuses, and I feel guilty. I do.

Well responsibility, a long lost word for me. And I'm picking it up. And I'm not dropping it again, hopefully.

the Ugly Chinese

This book is written some 20 years ago in 1984 by Bo Yang, a famous Taiwanese author who passed away earlier this year. I've heard of this book for a pretty long time but I hadn't got a chance til recently to have bought it from Taiwan and read it thorough. This book is also published in mainland China in the year 2004, but censored of course, I guess most of the second part of the book is gone cos "different" voice from the government is presented as the responses to the book goes on like a war on the Chinese magazines of the United States.

Well it was my opinion, I don't know whether it was that Chinese people had become uglier or something, this book doesn't seem to have revealed every ugly thing about the Chinese people, such as shameless and greedy as far as I see. Anyway, Mr Bo Yang wrote this book in the hope of seeing the 'uprising' of the Chinese people and community in the world, whereas I've already lost every single hope of Chinese ever being any good again. They are just hopeless. They are boasting of what a long history or what dazzling achievements Chinese had achieve in the ancient times, well note this 'ancient times', look around yourself now do you see any modern utilities been developed or invented by Chinese? Nothing.

Self-humiliation while comparing themselves to the people in developed country while cynic towards everything in the developed world and jeer anyone that goes towards them as toady to foreign powers, well, if there is something that the developed world is doing better than the traditional way (not just some I guarantee, heaps), what one should do is not to try to push it down by groundless blames and not admitting that you yourself is inferior but to think of what is so good about it and either find a way to make yourself superior of even simply mimic is better than just satirizing the good ones and keep your stupid way. And that is what Chinese people are doing and that is why I lost all hope.

Every single time that the government had done something wrong or lied about something, what they do was not to try to find the truth but help the government to cover its fault 'for good' or 'for the respect of our glorious China' while your rotten China had already been known as the biggest liar in the world.

Most recently, the so called 'Shenzhou 7' the spaceship, absolutely fake and few people actually doubt that within China after a bunch of hints pointing directly towards the falseness of it: a news leak about the spaceship describing in every detail of the spaceship in the space when it was not even launched, bubbles (well they manipulated the videos on Youtube so that the 'bubbles' look like pieces of paper as they say, which further proves the falseness of the spaceship) that indicates the video is shot underwater, an aside that calls for two 'motiles' approach 'underwater', the sudden change of type of clothes from cordless from the ship to corded indicates airflow need when you think of they are underwater so that there would be less bubbles (still proved to be inevitable though), the time difference between the portion of earth shown in video and the 'actual' time demonstrated, plus the video had demonstrated the 'getting out' from various angles showing the astronauts while there's nothing about the spaceship itself and all the camera is focussed at the door of the cabin, don't think it bit ridiculous? Well if there's only one suspectation was observed I might trust the the saying of the government, but what about all these? I wouldn't believe these evidences are all fake and only what the Chinese government says is true.

Someone asked me recently that whether the Chinese government was corrupt or not, my answer was very. And when asked 'could you buy someone over?' the answer would be you will HAVE TO buy someone over in many circumstances or you are just nothing. The whole government is corrupt like that and nobody ever give a shit that they are even happy to buy them over for a ‘reassurance'. No wonder huh?

The bottom line is that, this is a pretty good book for the mainland Chinese people as an enlightenment. It does show many of ugly behavior that is unique to Chinese people and will show them that 'if you guys don't do anything about such I don't see a future of China', and they did absolutely nothing I would say.

And believe me buying the uncensored Taiwanese version is a must if you are gonna read this one or you could actually compare the two versions and see how evil the Chinese government is that they don't even tolerate any say against it.

Newcastle

Actually been back for like a week now, was impressive and I liked it.

I was pretty shocked mistaking Sydney as Newcastle on the plane, well if it really was that would be horrible, endless lights spreading into the night, a city that never sleeps. I thought Newcastle would not be that huge, and I was right.

The airport is obviously small, with only two or three parking places for planes. and you will have to go around the plane to get back to the terminal building. Switching on my phone, considering that you might not have arrived that I should call after going to toilet. I was rushing to that sign of a faceless stand straight man while you suddenly spoke into my ear that you are going to pay for your parking.

You drove me around the city although it is dark and not much is actually seen, all I could feel was Newcastle is actually a pretty hilly city with heaps of beaches. Then to your place, which was pretty dark (no doubt at night). We are both bit tired and we just fell asleep.

The weather next morning was pretty pleasant as far as I remember, and I was surprised that it was actually Lake Macquarie outside your window. Was to go to the beach but it seems we are pretty slack so we only got to go for grocery shopping and for the materials I need to cook for tonight.

It took quite some effort to find the Asian grocery that you found on the Yellow Page, we finally got there though. Well, just really a grocery, pretty small, we found all what we need though, that's good enough.

It was hard to find the steamer under your housemate's bed, we pulled out every single box and opened them and checked, and it was finally there. Pretty small one, means we'll have to divide the chicken into two and steam them separately.

Yes steamed chicken with Shitake mushroom is one of the dishes that night, with boiled dumplings and a stir fry. Rice had to be bought from a nearby restaurant as you don't have a rice cooker here.

The vegetarian stir fry was surprisingly good as I actually seldom do stir fries. (stir fry is actually not Asian, instead American-Asian as we don't actually do it at home, it was invented by the immigrants but you guys love it) It seems the chicken was not as welcomed, think it was bit bland though but I still love it. Seems we had a lot of alcohol that night.

The next day we got up at 6AM, going to Maitland where you worked, I just go around the small town and take pictures everywhere. Two things surprised me, it was not a big town and there are like half a dozen churches, and the churches sound bells! This immediately evaluates my favor towards the town. At the centre of the main street mall was all kinds people singing and dancing hilariouly. Bored and tired by the last one or two hours of the waiting, I just sat at the back.

It rains in the afternoon and we were trapped in the cafe of Hunter Valley Gardens, pretty regretful that we didn't visit the vineyards though, just comforting myself that the grapes are not ripened at this time of year, and there is always next time.

It was another slack morning on Sunday, and a 'completely Aussie BBQ experience' for me at lunch. Everything's overcooked (just as usual) though...

Beach. Simply wonderful.

The last day, we had a fight in the morning, my fault though. And we just drove around trying to kill the time before the flight, realizing there's no opening restaurant for a dinner at 4PM the only choice was junk food.

We seated ourselves right opposite to the chek in counters chilling for like an hour and felt the guys inside peeping at us, and it was time to go.

Got myself a Latte and a window seat, a bit of a rush, just finished replying a guy on facebook and it was boarding time.

I will remember that old man running on and off the skybus like five times and making me miss the train home!!!