Don't know what exactly to say really, just been a while and think I should post something on here.
Study's become quite stressful, and obviously my assignment is going too slow, hope I'll get over it eventually, but obviously after the assignment there is more experiments and the final thesis ahead.
I realized I'm probably consuming too much sugar in my breakfasts. I used to have muesli+natural yoghurt+juice which had worked quite well for me cos the natural yoghurt does not contain sugar. I switched to Moo recently which is undeniably yum but obviously a lot sweeter, and adding juice on top of that makes my breakfast a pretty sugary one. I'm thinking of something without the sugar to replace my juice if possible, or i'll have to buy natural yoghurt anyway just for breakfast and the Moo would be only for snack...
Another thing is, I think I should avoid showing up in some places at the wrong time which might send out the wrong messages. And 'assume nothing, expect everything' should become my motto from this day on.
Wish me luck.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
My 4th June, Bits and Pieces
Today is the 21st anniversary of the massacre in Beijing (opposing to genuine thoughts, accumulating evidences support that massive proportion of the massacre took place all around Tiananmen square not actually within the square, hence it shouldn't be called massacre in Tiananmen square) 1989.
I was not even four in June 1989, attending kindergarten in Guangzhou thousands of kilometres away from Beijing. The only thing I remember regarding to this massive political movement was its very beginning, which was the first funeral I've ever seen - the funeral of former president of China Hu Yaobang broadcasted on TV one morning (22nd April 1989 to be precise) when all of us kids and nurses were made to watch in the classroom. My memory after that funeral is faded and I don't have an idea of what people were talking about what happened after it in my city those days.
Back in those days there was a VCR player in my grandpa's house and there was one Karaoke tape of the pop songs then which I soon learnt to sing all the songs in from my aunt. The first song was called 'bloodstained glory'. I did notice that this song was quite different from every other songs in that tape which were all love songs, it was talking about the country but different again from the 'mainstream' communist march themes that we often hear on national events.
No information goes my way about that political movement for a very long time, until close to my graduation of elementary school that I heard the term '4th of June' being mysteriously spread amongst our classmates but nobody could tell for sure what that means. I went home and asked dad, 'a group of college students demonstrating in Tiananmen Square trying to overturn the communist government and establish capitalism in China' was the only and overly cautious answer I got.
During those days when a computer is rare and nobody knows what internet is in China, I can do nothing to find out for myself (I was not allowed in public libraries because I am under 16, weird rules in China I know).
I finally got internet access at home when I was in high school, not long before I discovered torrents and eMule. While most of the political websites were blocked by the prototype GFW without me even knowing there was no way to block the P2P searches (even now I think). There was one day that I subconsciously searched the term '4th June' and there it was a whole new world for me. I watched a lot of footages about that movement and I finally have an idea about what it is about. I got angry that the government fired towards its own citizens, the validity of this communist government was also highly questioned, my consciousness told me that opening fire on its citizen is wrong and cowardice. A democratic leader in such situation would've stepped down because there is no point staying in that position given the fact that he had already lost his support from his people, which is the legal ground of his position.
Deng Xiaoping had stated during the massacre 'kill 200 thousand to get 20 years of peace of mind', I don't think the death toll in the 1989 massacre was that high but that government survived 21 years after the movement. Look at China now, a house is worth 100 years of salary of a normal worker, foods rising dramatically in price, not any form of medical insurance for people in the countrysides, ridiculous difference of income between the rich and poor... Any second thoughts of the government would be jailed or even locked in the lunatic asylum, violent and unruly use of force to break down private properties for the benefits of the people in the government and real estate giants, even forcing people to burn themselves. All of these needs to be covered from the general population and the cost of such concealment is at the rise as they happen increasingly frequently. It's a matter of time that the communist government collapse, but time is a serious matter. Chinese people don't want to be helped, they are unacknowledged of and uninterested in questioning their government, that is exactly what the government want them to do so that the communist government can survive. Unless there is no more room for even food and shelter for a large proportion of people who would finally stand up.
I was not even four in June 1989, attending kindergarten in Guangzhou thousands of kilometres away from Beijing. The only thing I remember regarding to this massive political movement was its very beginning, which was the first funeral I've ever seen - the funeral of former president of China Hu Yaobang broadcasted on TV one morning (22nd April 1989 to be precise) when all of us kids and nurses were made to watch in the classroom. My memory after that funeral is faded and I don't have an idea of what people were talking about what happened after it in my city those days.
Back in those days there was a VCR player in my grandpa's house and there was one Karaoke tape of the pop songs then which I soon learnt to sing all the songs in from my aunt. The first song was called 'bloodstained glory'. I did notice that this song was quite different from every other songs in that tape which were all love songs, it was talking about the country but different again from the 'mainstream' communist march themes that we often hear on national events.
No information goes my way about that political movement for a very long time, until close to my graduation of elementary school that I heard the term '4th of June' being mysteriously spread amongst our classmates but nobody could tell for sure what that means. I went home and asked dad, 'a group of college students demonstrating in Tiananmen Square trying to overturn the communist government and establish capitalism in China' was the only and overly cautious answer I got.
During those days when a computer is rare and nobody knows what internet is in China, I can do nothing to find out for myself (I was not allowed in public libraries because I am under 16, weird rules in China I know).
I finally got internet access at home when I was in high school, not long before I discovered torrents and eMule. While most of the political websites were blocked by the prototype GFW without me even knowing there was no way to block the P2P searches (even now I think). There was one day that I subconsciously searched the term '4th June' and there it was a whole new world for me. I watched a lot of footages about that movement and I finally have an idea about what it is about. I got angry that the government fired towards its own citizens, the validity of this communist government was also highly questioned, my consciousness told me that opening fire on its citizen is wrong and cowardice. A democratic leader in such situation would've stepped down because there is no point staying in that position given the fact that he had already lost his support from his people, which is the legal ground of his position.
Deng Xiaoping had stated during the massacre 'kill 200 thousand to get 20 years of peace of mind', I don't think the death toll in the 1989 massacre was that high but that government survived 21 years after the movement. Look at China now, a house is worth 100 years of salary of a normal worker, foods rising dramatically in price, not any form of medical insurance for people in the countrysides, ridiculous difference of income between the rich and poor... Any second thoughts of the government would be jailed or even locked in the lunatic asylum, violent and unruly use of force to break down private properties for the benefits of the people in the government and real estate giants, even forcing people to burn themselves. All of these needs to be covered from the general population and the cost of such concealment is at the rise as they happen increasingly frequently. It's a matter of time that the communist government collapse, but time is a serious matter. Chinese people don't want to be helped, they are unacknowledged of and uninterested in questioning their government, that is exactly what the government want them to do so that the communist government can survive. Unless there is no more room for even food and shelter for a large proportion of people who would finally stand up.
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