Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Grandpa

Grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

It doesn't sound good at all... Mom said I might not be able to see him if I go back to China around Chinese New Year. And on that matter, I did want to go back but I don't even have a plan for going back to China at this stage as I haven't been earning much and I virtually can't save any money at the moment, let alone the airfare back. I feel helpless.

Emotion suddenly hit me this morning while I was at work fondling with dead meat that I cooked. I kept thinking of the days me and grandpa had spent together when I was little (grandpa was my favourite). Sitting on his shoulder, walking along the river counting on the numbered tiles laid on the bank, making dumplings for the first time, stickers that I made him bought me... I tried so hard not to let my tears drop and finally controlled myself. No one at work noticed.

I know it's lucky for me being 26 and still have all 4 of my grandparents alive, and me being far away for so long definitely made them miss me like crazy (I do miss them too but I reckon they miss me more).

I'm not really religious and I don't have a god to pray to. But I do wish my grandpa would get through this, and I'd see him smile back home some time.

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