My Accent

I'd been getting quite a bit of comments on my English accent recently, but well, it really had been quite complicated. I'm not sure myself where my accent came from now.

Although I'd been from China, people don't identify the Chinglish in me anymore. There was once two ladies asked to guess where I was from before I was introduced, and the first thing they say is "definitely not Chinese".

From my middle school back in China we've been having foreign English teachers for our English speaking. I think the first foreign teacher that influenced my English accent would be Jim when I was like 14. Jim's from the US and the Chinese English textbooks are written in American English so it sort of makes sense. I've also had Australian and New Zealand foreign teachers back then but I don't think that they'd influenced me as much as Jim. I think he was pretty proud of me as his student as I ran into him on the streets of Guangzhou in 2008 (almost 10 years after he left that school, and I was visiting back China from Australia after my first year study in University of Melbourne) and he still recognized me.

The so-called 'Crazy English' frenzy back in the late 90's also influenced me I guess. And the Chinese founder of the method was also promoting American English. What I was asked to do was listen to a cassette tape of famous American speeches such as 'I have a dream' by Martin Luther King and try to speak like they do, then record your own version and listen to them to find the difference.

Before I came to Australia I attended a course in which the majority of subjects were taught by foreign teachers, and most of them English. I don't really know but I didn't seem to pick up too much accent from them. But at the same time I started watching 'Skins', which was played in quite strong a Bristol/Welsh accent, I didn't think I was affected by that that much either.

And there I was hitting Melbourne in early 2007 and without spending a single day in the US in my entire life I was identified with a nasty mix of American and Chinese accent. People did comment on my American accent then and I was quite embarrassed when I was working in the market people misunderstood my 'can't' as 'can'. Through working though, I've learnt how Kiwis have that funny way to pronounce 'thank you', which annoyed me for quite a while.

I think living for a while in a city does changed my accents too, by the time I moved to Adelaide people started to comment on my 'Melbourne accent', I didn't really know what Melbourne accent is at all, and I could tell very little even by now.

My accent seems to have taken an English turn from here. And I think the main influence was YouTube. I'd subscribed to so many youtubers from the UK now. While some of them has a relatively mild British accent such as charlieissocoollike and kickthepj, there are nastier accents by the likes of jimmy0010 and nostrilshorts. And when I start speaking these days I almost say 'say' as 'see' now. I've even got comments that I got 'received' accent, well I guess I did 'receive' a lot of accents...

And here I am.

The Dirty Money Talk

I still remember when I was little and went to the market with mom one day, I saw her give out money, take the grocery and money (change) back. I didn't have the idea of change. I thought that people earn money by buying stuff until my mom told me otherwise. She also kept emphasizing that money is hard earned, and money has forged in my mind as something precious. Of course I was raised up being told money can't buy you everything, but the other half of the saying is more important: but you can't live without money.

I started to get allowance from the age 9, like, 1 Yuan (~A$0.15) per month. I think I spent the most of them on snacks available from tiny stores around my school. That much would probably buy me an ice cream or a medium pack of potato chips. Of course that wouldn't be enough for me, but I get money on other occasions such as doing chores around the house.

But the big thing would be Chinese New Year, I'd get lucky money (that's exactly why Chinese kids all looking forward to the Chinese New Year, it's like Christmas in the western world) from parents, grandparents, other relatives, family friends, business partners of family members etc. This figure easily runs into thousands Yuan each year. But of course my parents wouldn't let me touch the money that easy, because they need to give out lucky money to kids of the family and friends and business partners too. What they did was starting from age 9, they set up a bank account for me and put a portion of the lucky money I got each year in there, usually only a few hundreds, until when I was in high school I put basically all I get in there.

The first time of course dad took me to the bank and taught me how to write the slip for deposit (that was back in the early 90's, of course now they're all computerized and not needed anymore), I was lucky to have known how to write those very traditional (very complicated) Chinese characters for numbers beforehand (I learnt them from a calender which marked months with those characters), they're not really taught in schools because they don't really have a use outside of the banking system these days. I got a booklet instead of a card as record for savings (those booklets are still being used alongside cards in China these days). My parents keep the booklet. So the money has my name on it but it's not really accessible by me.

Ever since I'd go to the bank alone and fill those forms out and make those deposits every year, when one year I started a debit card with the bank for this account and hid the card from my parents, guess what, I have the access to my money now! I had been a bit reluctant to use the money because even for me it doesn't come easy (only once a year!).

I get more allowance with age, so when I am in middle school I get like 50 Yuan per month. But problem is I'm not content with snacks anymore. I started to buy music, and lots of them. And I only buy them genuine. I started off with cassette tapes, which costs like 10 Yuan each so I could afford them. But then there comes the CDs, which are usually imported and over 100 Yuan each, pretty expensive for my allowance. What I did was saving up from my lunch money, putting only half of whatever I get for lunch money into the card for the canteen, then use the rest to buy CDs. I could only afford one or two per month (of course unless it's Chinese New Year), but I'm happy with that. The sad thing is none of my classmates really respect that I only buy genuine music and they voted me as the 'most extravagant' in the class. I don't think I deserve it but well who cares. But thinking back it actually sort of contributed to who I am now.

The greatest discovery of my life so far had to be those 'recycled plastic' stores. There are heaps of excess or pre-release samples of foreign CDs, DVDs and the like shipped into China for disposal treatment. They are all supposed to be punched and then go through treatments before going to the landfill, however these guys that run those stores had some sort of links to the customs and they are able to grab those things before they are destroyed and sell them. As mentioned before most of them are punched but you can always dig deeper into the piles and find some that escaped it. These things are sold cheap, starting from 10 Yuan you can get a pretty decent CD not punched. Of course some of the big name artists are still sold quite expensive, but I just enjoy digging into them and always find something new. I got the whole discography of some of my favourite artists simply by digging into those piles. I got so many priceless and rare founds in them. This habit dramatically increased my CD collection to over 400 by the time I left for Australia to study.

I started earning money when I started uni in China (the one that I dropped out after a year). The thing about earning money for me is that I found the more I earn the even more I spend. I suck at saving money. Even now I'm still the same. Of course now I need to rely on myself while not earning much at all. For the moment earning for me only means the ability to loan more, because my material desire cannot be satisfied from what I get from my job. Is there a balance point that I could earn enough for what I want? I hope so. Would my desire grow with it and always outweighs it? I tend to consider myself as not having to ambitious material needs, I only want to be good enough to myself - good food, good brands on everyday supplies and appliances, music, games, independent branded stuff and innovative electronics. When I get a bit more I'd like to spend more on photographing and travelling around. I don't want a property for myself, probably not for quite a few years even if I had that money, because I don't really know how long will I stay in any place at all. What made it worse is that I believe there's a huge bubble in the Australian real estate market at the moment, that I'm waiting for it to burst any time.

Now the problem is how I achieve that balance point that I wanted. Well I sent out a few job applications today, not sure how well they'd go but I'll have to find out I guess. Wish me luck.

Recent Stuff, A Bit of Everything

I know when I use the word 'recent' in my titles it's been a while since my last update to my blog. Not that I've been too busy or whatever though, I was just lazy, and I hereby admit it.

I am still struggling to find another job. Now that I've been put on even more pressure than before as my current boss is seeking to sell this business. It's not like that business is bad in our shop and actually quite the contrary. But I totally understand my boss as it is way too hard for him having to be there 7 days a week with less than 20 days off including public holidays per year for over 2 years. I'd be so over it too if I were him. But anyway that'd mean I need another job ASAP. So far there had only been one out of hundreds of resumes I sent out that got a reply without the word 'unfortunately' in it. That doesn't mean I'd got the job though, I'm still waiting nervously for them to come back to me after two weeks. That position is in the middle of nowhere but I don't really mind, it's a good opportunity for me to gain professional experience anyway and I actually start to think of myself as a country boy.

I've read a fortune about me for the year the other day, and I was like 'no wonder'. It seems that I wouldn't be very well off all year long, that I need to be careful about betrayals, cheats, financial problems, and avoid getting into troubles the best I can. That pretty much sums up this year so far for me... The only good news seems to be, this year is almost over. But I think I'd need to read the fortune for my next year earlier next year.

I am pretty sick of the recent 'occupy somewhere' trend. Do you really want to be represented by those good-for-nothing jobless morons sitting there claiming you are one of them, the 99%, while you are working hard to achieve a better life? You are already distinctively better than them just by going to work and work hard instead of relying on welfare and whining about it. So how many are they really representing? 1% is more like it. The bottom 1%.

Qantas made a brave move to grounding every single flight to fight the unions. I have the say the age of unions has passed, now they are not much better than leeches suckling on the company. Strike campaigns went way too far in the recent months for Qantas that I hear about them at least every week on the news. What good causing inconvenience to passengers and drive them away to other airlines do for workers asking for a pay rise anyway? It only risked the very existence of the company and hence their jobs. At least for now I would be reluctant to book flights from Qantas. It was lucky that the government intervened and forbade further strikes for now. If you do care about Qantas as an iconic Australian brand then you do need to appreciate what they are doing to protect themselves. And by the way, why would you judge a CEO who runs a business which generates $20 million revenue per day for getting paid $5 million per year for salary? He deserves more than that.

A Not-So-Sweet Story

I was on the bus home today.

There was a bee trapped inside the window. I haven't seen a bee like this before - one of the pairs of its legs had yellow bulges on it, and its body was sort of translucent.

I think it's cute so I started trying to take a photo of it with my phone, but the back light from the window was quite strong and it's been trying to go through that glass and get out of the bus, that I could only get a dark blur silhouette of it. I turned the flash on and got the photo above, still not the best but I attracted attention from the fellow passengers I suppose. So I stopped trying.

The bee was still struggling and buzzing its way against the glass, then as if found the way out disappeared behind me.

I went on to upload this photo onto facebook.

Not even a minute later I felt something on my neck and brushed it off. There was a slight crunch and there it was the bee struggling on the floor in front of me.

I didn't know which part of it was ripped off or whatever but it never managed to launch from the floor again. And its struggles got weaker with time.

I just watched. Sort of feeling for it. Just two minutes ago I met this bee and tried to take a cute photo of it, Now it's getting killed, by me.

It's my stop and I looked at this bee once again, still struggling and moved towards the corner somehow. It would've been more mercy if I just stepped on it but I didn't.

I checked my phone back home and my photo has got a 'like'.

On Boat People

No, they are not refugees. Not most of them.

And yes Australians are being too nice to them. Settle them within Australia, process their claims, give most of them a visa to remain in Australia, all of which at the cost of tax payers.

The existence of boat people does no come with no cost, in contrast to them, legal immigrants (skilled or business) are being squeezed every year with the hurdle to migrate to Australia setting higher and higher. If only they had known there's a quick way!

Conditions for skilled immigrants to get permanent residence: Study in Australia for at least two years (at expensive international student rates and if it wasn't a TAFE it usually takes more than 2 years to finish) and get a tertiary degree/certificate which is approved by immigration and skill assessment bodies of the specific fields, IELTS all bands 7 or even 8 (out of 9), 1 year of professional work experience if they're not in the most urgently needed fields such as engineering and medicine.

Conditions for business immigrants to get permanent residence: Invest hundreds of thousands of dollars to own an Australian business which hires at least two full time employees with permanent residence or citizenship in Australia, generate an annual revenue of tens of thousands of dollars for at least 2 years.

Conditions for boat people to get permanent residence: A ticket for the boat, show their fear of their home country and stay in a refugee camp for 2 years doing nothing but waiting with everything paid for.

This is not only unfair but also unjust to skilled and business migrants. If the boat people were refugees then they have every right to be treated that way, but before they are cleared of that status they should not. It's not war time in those countries that these people come from and I believe there are plenty of operational UN organizations in those countries that are more than happy to help genuine refugees out of their country.

And what sort of migrants should Australia take in? Educated people with the skills to generate revenues and pay tax? Rich people who invests and keeps Australian economy thriving? Or people with 10 kids each who suck up welfare and sit there doing nothing?

Think about it.

Sleep

I seem to 'need' less sleep than before now, some how.

I used to have to sleep for a while 8 hours to feel like myself waking up, now I only need like 5.5-6 hours. I'd wake up feeling bleh but still myself.

I don't really know whether there is a problem with my sleeping, there doesn't really seem so as many people are used to that sort of sleeping time, but I feel a bit uncomfortable about it whenever I fall asleep I'd wake up before 7am which is when I would when I need to work. And sometimes this time was stretched to 4am and when I did wake up that early sometimes it's a bit hard to get back to sleep... I watch YouTube videos, play weird games and stuff on my phone, until the time that I actually need to get up.

Well, at least I don't have a problem getting up.

Maybe it's time for some chamomile tea again.

The Untold

NOTE: Different human beings are involved in different lines.

It was exactly you that I dreamt of, I wish I could tell you.

Sometimes I don't really feel like replying your message, they have started to annoy me.

Is it time that we introduce formally to each other now?

I think you're too young to follow me on Twitter.

I haven't heard from you for ages, how is Southern France treating you?

I have enjoyed every dinner we had, but I am aware that dinner is as far as I could ask for no matter how much more I'd like.

Shopping with you is my absolute nightmare. You're never happy of what you get despite the hours you have spent choosing, and you always have something to return.

I gravely regretted betraying my standards after meeting you, now I'm even more certain that they are there for a reason (namely blocking out the likes of you).

I think I could understand why you did that, you possibly want to get close to me, but that does not justify the fact that you're lying all the time. And you did a very poor job.

I wasn't too surprised, and that's actually something good to happen. Why pretend to be friends after all?

I only know you by the name, facebook?

Yes ABC is state run, but it is way too far from being neutral.

May I have another chance? I know I screwed up last time.

You seem like a very intelligent kid from what I saw on your facebook, shall we talk?

A mention from you on Twitter got me like 5 followers, wow.

I'm glad that you realized that, block.

Stop those early Sunday morning drunken text messages, I need to work every Sunday and I certainly have no intention to "be at yours in 15"!

Maybe Sex and the City is too offensive for you to even quote.

I can't tell you I had a crush on you a few years ago, not even as a joke.

I still don't understand you. Is it that you're only interested when I'm taken?

I wonder what did you mean by your skype status.

I wish to hear back from you, it's been too long.

You're never tired of this poking war are you?

I totally crushed you.

I wonder why I was the one who used to try to chat you up all the time now it's the opposite.

I finally realized I should not waste any more time arguing with you, I was right all along and all I needed to do is to stand by it.

Grandpa

Grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

It doesn't sound good at all... Mom said I might not be able to see him if I go back to China around Chinese New Year. And on that matter, I did want to go back but I don't even have a plan for going back to China at this stage as I haven't been earning much and I virtually can't save any money at the moment, let alone the airfare back. I feel helpless.

Emotion suddenly hit me this morning while I was at work fondling with dead meat that I cooked. I kept thinking of the days me and grandpa had spent together when I was little (grandpa was my favourite). Sitting on his shoulder, walking along the river counting on the numbered tiles laid on the bank, making dumplings for the first time, stickers that I made him bought me... I tried so hard not to let my tears drop and finally controlled myself. No one at work noticed.

I know it's lucky for me being 26 and still have all 4 of my grandparents alive, and me being far away for so long definitely made them miss me like crazy (I do miss them too but I reckon they miss me more).

I'm not really religious and I don't have a god to pray to. But I do wish my grandpa would get through this, and I'd see him smile back home some time.

The Rant

Please stop reading now if you have the slightest feeling that this rant is about you. You have been warned.

I don't read your mind so don't expect me to. I wouldn't know when you'd swap the subject and object in your sentence and expect me to understand.

I don't like playing around with words that mean essentially the same thing which you intentionally emphasized the difference as a catch.

That's one thing I hate about lawyers too.

I don't like playing mind games in general.

It's not that I didn't like your job, I didn't like you complaining nonstop about your two jobs while I was struggling to find even one.

I don't like your sarcasm.

I don't like being stereotyped, especially when I am completely unfit to that stereotype.

Your intelligence? You are the one who basically tells me that bacteria would grow on detergent.

I don't like it when you say I was blatantly lying while I was telling the truth.

I don't like it when you decided I wouldn't like something before I had a chance to tell you. And I was somehow pushed to the opposite side ever since.

I don't like being locked in your house for a whole day with your PS3. I wanted to use the computer and I even brought my resume with me thinking that I could have done some job hunting while you're away at work.

It's true that I don't like making plans, but there are times that I did but you didn't like it which made me even more reluctant to.

I made myself OK with all those and you're still telling me I didn't love you enough.

Android

I'd been using the iPhone 3GS for 2 years and finally got sick of it. I decided to switch to Android and recontracted a Samsung Galaxy S II with Optus. I've had the new phone for more than a week now so here's a few thoughts on this phone and more importantly on Android as well.

I'm not really gonna brag about the hardware of this phone cos you probably have all heard about it. Duo-core processor, super AMOLED plus, 8MP camera and mobile high-definition link (MHL). A bit of overkill to any current iPhones, but the best part is it's cheaper than the iPhone 4.

After my first long phone call on the SGS2 I realized it is a phone, while iPhone was anything but a phone. I can't really remember how many times I had to call out 'sorry what was that' during calls when there's only digital gibberish coming through and then the call dropped. I don't really have to do that with the SGS II unless it was my limitation in English. And they say 3GS was not the worst iPhone in terms of reception.

The Android system does take a little time to get used to. you have a bit more space than just the dock to place your favourite apps, but the home/apps button has to take one of the four spots on the dock. You got multiple home screens you could put various widgets on to see contents without having to opening the app, or if you like shortcuts of apps from the app page. They are easy to use generally and I am happy with them.

I haven't rooted my system but I will definitely do it soon because I need to remove some of the apps that comes with the phone which I don't need but cannot remove without root access. Even without the rooting the customization on Android is beyond belief. I spent like 3 hours just to adjust my live wallpaper to a pattern that I absolutely love and had great fun doing so. Btw iOS does not offer live wallpapers at all and when I first get it it doesn't even support wallpapers except on the lock screen. To install apps not from the market place however, all you need is to check that option, nothing like jailbreaking or the like.

The screen is absolutely amazing. It doesn't have the resolution that iPhone 4 has, but you won't believe the colour because of the technology of the display itself. There is no true black on any LCD screens because those pixels cannot completely shut off the back light, while the AMOLED screen doesn't need a backlight, the pixels light themselves up. I didn't realize how much difference that made until I turned on my iPhone again one day.

The back of the SGS2 is openable which means you can change your battery or have a spare one with you. It takes Micro SD cards too. I've already ordered a 32G one from eBay and it's already on its way.

The only thing that I found Android being inferior to iOS so far the touch screen. While the hardware technology should be the same Android lacked a bit of friendliness. In iOS if you tap and hold on say a webpage there would not be anything until you release or swiped, but in Android there would be some annoying menus popping up that I had to close again and again. I can't just hold it and then slowly navigate through as I read. This might be my bad habit brought over from iOS but it really annoyed me. The soft keys "menu" and "back" are handy because they freed quite a bit of space on the screen but they are a bit too easy to be mistouched especially when you are operating the phone with one hand. Also in a lot of cases the "back" key registered twice when pressed once for me.

I don't think I'd regret this choice, and I don't plan to go back to iPhone.

Carbon Tax? No Thank You!

Global warming? Yes it is happening and we all feel it, but you might want to learn the other name of it, interglacial age. Human has been powerful for the history but not against geological activities of the earth. People claim that human activity caused the global warming, well change that term to interglacial age and you will see how ridiculous that thought is. This is not something human should even be worried about happening, it is happening and all we have to do is to adapt to it instead of trying hopelessly to stop or delay it happening. Adapting yourself to the environment instead of trying to change the environment has been the case all through human history, any counter-attempt has been failure (think things like Three Gorges Dam in China). Yes the human race getting ever more powerful but still not comparable to nature.

Stop feeling guilty and think it's your fault that the earth is getting warmer. It's just the nature.

Carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases are being emitted into the atmosphere all the time, even before the existence of human, and there are more reasons for interglacial age happening such as relative distance between the earth and the sun and solar activity. Who are to be taxed? Fossil fuel (petrol, diesel, natural gas, coal etc) of course, let's start with that. Human breath releases carbon dioxide too, then tax it! Your pets' breath? Tax it! Squirrels that run across your roof? Tax it! Ants in your garden? Tax it! Going to the zoo with kids on a weekend? Tax it! That's only the primarily affected of a carbon tax. You might think cost of driving will increase that's it? Things that use fossil fuels ublic transport, or transportation in general, electricity (except the "dirty" nuclear and "clean" solar) will go up too. Is that it? Think stuff that require electricity: manufacturing, every piece of electronic gadget you love, and the microwave and vacuum you don't love as much... If I go on that is basically everything.

Temperature on earth has been fluctuating from the very beginning of its existence, and it will act that way until the end.

I know that some other countries are already taxing carbon, that does not justify the carbon tax itself. It is happening does not mean it is right, other countries are doing it does not mean Australia should too. And we should also look at which countries are taxing carbon, not the two biggest carbon producers, China and the US, which counted for more than 30% of carbon emission globally. The amount of Australian carbon emission is close to 1/30 comparing to US and roughly 1/40 comparing to China. What is the significance of carbon emission from Australia anyway? Let's be (way way overly) optimistic and say after taxing carbon all the carbon emission in Australia is eliminated (you don't even breathe out carbon dioxide that is in "fear" of paying the tax), that is less than 1.5% of global carbon emission. I doubt that would even delay the global warming (let's set a goal for it and say to 2C rise of temperature) for a month. and in realistic the government is targeting 5~15% reduction out of that less than 1.5%, which is around 0.15%, it would not delay it coming for even a day. And that amount could be easily filled by coal-hungry China.

On the other hand, it is not possible to get all countries working together, because there are smarter and less greedy governments who realize we cannot change the situation anyway, why not just let them have the money and stay happy for at least the rest of their lives?

Even if carbon emission is to be blamed for this "global warming", Australians are not responsible for it.

Think in the long run and think of your great grand children? Do we really have a "long run" on earth? I don't really believe in 2012 myself but I think extinction of human is perfectly possible and possibly inevitable in time. The environment on earth could be changed but could never be destroyed by human, it could well change to a point where it is no longer suitable for humans to live on (this may or may not be caused by human themselves) and still be there. If we are smart enough by that point we will be able to leave earth and find somewhere else more suitable to live, if not, we will extinct just like dinosaurs and appear in elementary school textbooks (if they still call it that) of another intelligent species who discovered our kind.

And how willing are Australian people to pay that sort of tax? Well polls say 58% Australians are not happy with it and 28% are willing to pay at the moment, while Qantas found only 7% passengers are willing to pay $2 for carbon offset during their flight. I think the 7% figure might have been more indicative because those people are actually paying but the rest of the 28% are just saying. And to put a note on that Qantas is definitely not amongst the cheapest airlines around, and I (meaning not rich) would gladly give $2 for a passable musician or something on the streets.

What do they need the money for? You'd be blind not to see the hollowness Kevin Rudd left on the budget after giving everyone $900 (note he inherited a surplus from John Howard to begin with). You think that's for free? Think again. They'd only do that so they stay in power and rip you off more.

In one word this carbon tax thing is just another bullshit that the government pulls to rip you off. The end.

About Plain Packaging on Cigarettes

Yeah the government is pushing it hard now. While I don't smoke myself and I am totally against smoking I don't really know how much this will help in terms of stopping people smoking or stopping getting people into smoking.

At the moment cigarettes sold in Australia are required to have disgusting depiction of symptoms of diseases caused by smoking printed on, and I've heard jokes about collecting addicts getting their hands on it even if they are non-smokers, "I have lung cancer already, give me ED this time!". But I was shocked when I heard a long term smoker telling me that he doesn't really look at the package when buying cigarettes, that he was so fed up with all those education about how bad smoking is and stuff. He knows as good as anyone else that smoking is bad, but he's just not willing to stop it. If this is the norm amongst smokers then a plain packaging will certainly not help the matter.

This actually makes me think, does the package really matter? What smokers are buying is not the package but what's inside anyway. And as long as the cigarettes are the same I don't think they'd change their mind.

Does it stop people from getting into smoke then? I can't tell for sure but I don't know the chance of a kid starts smoking only because the package looks pretty. And from what I've heard most smokers I know got talked into smoking by their friends when they first started (most probably in middle or high school), other than that there was bad example of smoking parents or relatives. This is not statistically significant but I have not heard of anyone started smoking because they think the package is pretty.

In one word, the problem is cigarettes, not the packaging.

So am I coming up with a better solution? I can't really ban tobacco sales right? The government needs the tax money (whether it was for treating smoking-related diseases or not). Hmm I was thinking how about pulling the plug of health insurance for smokers? Like if the amount you smoke gives a +5% chance of getting lung cancer then you won't be able to claim your health insurance from either government or private health insurance funds when you actually get it. Of course that one bleached human rights for smokers, but that does stop them smoking when you think of it and when you really wanted them to stop smoking. And the best part, the government still keep the tax money from smokers but is not spending it on them anymore.

I feel like updating my blog again.

There's not really that much exciting stuff going on at the moment, except that I would need to move from my current place next month. My housemates bought a house in the south-west and I don't know whether I should move with them. Deep down though I wanted to move closer to city where I work so I can ride my bike or even just walk to work, the bus tickets are so ridiculously expensive now out of the shelter of a student card.

I'm a bit determined to start getting my driving license transferred. But I just still wasn't determined enough although I know that it is of utmost importance to me now.

I changed my first intermediate job in UWO, I'm now a treasure hunter. As far as I concerned I am happy with the title for quite a while. I found the Pyramid of Khufu, investigated a few of Michaelangelo and Raphael's work but at the moment struggling to salvage a shipwreck in the area in the middle of Ragusa, Syracuse, Benghazi and Athens but I don't have an idea where exactly it is yet. I also plan to leave Europe for Mid-East, India and the Caribbean very soon. But I hesitate a lot and get caught in different things a lot, as usual.

At work my pay has raised a little bit, well I hope I will be able to spend less and hopefully start saving. I'm virtually out of debt now, definitely not planning to go back to it...

Thoughts on Graduation

So I graduated again.

A bit of stumble and rush, I did not realize I need to collect guest tickets before I get in so that my mom only got to get in the Bonython Hall with Darren's spare ticket... Thanks again Darren.

I was a bit pissed at the survey that they hand out in before the ceremony, asking what I been doing and stuff. I almost threw it away when it asked whether my degree that I completed has played any role in getting my current job. But well, no. What do you think a BSc with Honours has to do with working as a kitchen hand?

It's not that I wasn't trying. I searched online, consulted with head hunters, try to get connection with the industry... Nothing happened. I don't even get a single interview. Almost every single professional position asks for experience which I don't have, while not that many of them asks for a degree which I have. I know lack of professional experience is a drawback for me but it wasn't entirely my fault. Companies don't want fresh graduates (especially international) for professional positions and they ask for experience, but graduates like me don't get experience when they are not employed. I know you could argue that students get intern-ships during their study, but for me I somehow wasn't given a chance, much like looking for a job at the moment.

I've heard that not many of my fellow honours students had got a proper job at this time, 5 months after completion of the course. One that got a proper laboratory job has reference from her supervisor (well mine didn't seem willing to refer me to anything but I'm not complaining).

What can I do? I'd keep doing what I have been until someone digs me out of the mud.

Some Facts About Me

I am the sort of person that get colds sore throats and stuff all the time but never really have big problems with my body. And yes I have a slight case of cold since yesterday, hopefully it'd be gone by tomorrow when I go to work.

I am fussed about what I eat but not in a way that one would expect. I refuse any low fat foods. If you see me buy organic it was only because it's on special and cheaper than conventional, but I am happy to pay more for local products. I do not mind genetically modified food. I don't think a vegetarian diet is a healthy one at all. I prefer raw food materials to processed stuff unless I have to, that said, I don't like the idea of taking supplements of any sort of nutrients unless they are crucially needed (I treat them as medication instead of food). The only valid claim you'd see on food packages amongst gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, fat free, GE free etc etc is low GI, all others are negligible unless of course you are allergic or something. And on the other hand your allergy might have actually been caused by one's diets besides a genetic thing.

I prefer houses to apartments because I've been living in apartments for more than 20 years since I was born, and I am really sick of it. Doesn't mean I am any good at gardening or willing to improve on that though. I just love to live in big rooms and stuff, and I've been a city boy for too long that I wouldn't mind going to the country really. The only thing stopping me was the insects.

I prefer walking and cycling to driving, but now it seems I had to get a car real soon anyway or I won't be in a good position of getting a job related to my field. But on the other hand the video games that I enjoyed most were racing games. I am a big fan of Need for Speed and Burnout series.

I believe god exists but I am in no way religious. God is not Jesus, Allah, Buddha or whatever name and appearance you give him, it's just an existence that nobody would ever know unless he wants to tell. God does not listen, he just controls everything, including that I am typing these words right at this time. Therefore religion is not a way of salvation or whatever to me, it is just fate that no one could ever change. All I have to do is to accept it, under his control.

I think it's time for bed.

Set Sail!

It's called Uncharted Waters Online, but I knew it as Daikoukai Jidai from my teenage years. None of the previous (non-online) versions of this game was ever translated to Engslish and I played the IV in Chinese Traditional (the Taiwanese release of this game). It is still my favourite game of all time but I can't play it on my current computer because of both system and language encoding issues. (it doesn't even support Windows XP being released around 1998). The online version has been around since 2003 in Japan (2006 in Mainland China which I have briefly played) but only just arrived in the English world late last year. Of course I am gonna jump onto it as soon as I get a fast and reliable internet like now.

I loved the world map in the game was real world and all the ports were at exact places where they should be, although they are sometimes called a different name than we call them now because the time was set around the Renaissance, where every European country struggles to get out of Europe and explore the world. Every player is obviously one of them.

I have been playing as a Venetian adventurer (chosen over trader and maritime), fisherman to be exact. I have been enjoying it from the start. The sailing school was a bit too much to read but useful afterwards, I am still struggling to finish the advanced adventurer school at the moment since I need to get any one of 'archaeology', 'geography' or 'biology' skills to rank 4, which is not that easy.

There are a few things that I found interesting although it is reasonable to do so in game to make it fair. Cattle disappears after you milked it and chickens disappear after you collected eggs are amongst them. And you could actually make profit by simply taking eggs from chicken or ducks then hatch them to get more chicken or ducks. Another interesting thing is that eggs that you get from chicken might hatch into ducklings. And when you are bored just kill all the chicken and ducks and process them into meats and sell at 10 times the price of your original cost.

I actually think this game is quite amazing :) I just got eligible to get aides and I got one, will need to figure out what they do though...

I Thought We were Fine

I have sensed it quite a few days ago, I can't tell but there had been something going on. And then I did not have an idea for the White Day, because you did it so perfectly on Valentine's Day that I don't know what could I do to match up with that. You aren't welcomed by my housemates to come over and it was public holiday that everything shuts. I asked but you don't seem to care, and I kept telling myself what you said was true that you are not pissed at me for not coming up with anything. And on the day you asked to see me yesterday where we first dated, I knew it's coming. I wanted to confirm but you seemed to be avoiding me which only intensifies the feeling. But I couldn't help thinking of alternatives of that outcome that we both feared, could it be something better than I thought? But I finally figured if it was you don't have to wait for a certain time and place to tell me that. So instead of the usual gear that I bring to stay over at yours I brought the panda that I promised to give you when you leave, and who you promised to bring with you when you leave.

I was hoping to bring you to Chocolate Bean on Union St which I haven't been but saw on internet that they have a big platter of different indulgent hot chocolates and dips like heaven. I sidetracked myself a bit to the little store before meeting you and it did look really nice. I didn't really know whether we would ever be seen together in there though.

You were smiling but I can't make myself smile, all through the way. I have spent the last day preparing myself for it and I was thankful of that. I don't really need to say much because you have rehearsed everything prior, well, to be fair I don't speak much in general anyway. You kept asking whether I have anything to say which I don't really know what to. I can't even think. I always thought we were a really happy couple over the months, that we both feel nice and safe to be with each other, that I am proud to tell people that this is my lover. I thought that was all we need to keep this relationship going, now it seems you didn't think the same. You need someone to share your passion in life, which I can't but you do have plenty of friends to do that with and I'm not supposed to be both a boyfriend and a soul mate. I really do hope that was not the real reason but although curious I don't really want to know. And other than that I'm not expressive enough that I built a wall around myself, which is exactly what I am. I'm not good at talking in general let alone expressing myself, I think I feel more comfortable writing them out though. What is more important is, I don't want to change myself for anyone, I want to be accepted as I am, and in return, you don't need to change anything of yourself for me either, that I would accept you as a whole, because I love you. You thought that that I didn't want you to change anything was a lie but it wasn't. I can't think of anything that I want you to change for me, seriously. I thought we were fantastic as is.

You told me I was allowed to cry, but I was already crying. I don't think I've ever cried in front of you before, and surprisingly this time you didn't because you have rehearsed. I would rather believe you cried enough before that. And then you said you were leaving, I don't know whether that backlight was rehearsed as well but I can't really see you properly. I was thinking whether I should ask for a last hug or kiss but I didn't. And I wasn't looking so I don't know whether you looked back, I guessed not.

I sat there with the ants for a while and decided to leave, two couples behind me which I wasn't aware of were making out. I walked home slowly all the way, thinking I was coping with it better than I thought. But today it got worse, I kept thinking of you curling up in bed with me, I wanted to cry but I can't, I don't know what to do, talking to people about it didn't help. Telling me I deserve better didn't help, I didn't even deserve you, let alone better.

When I say I'd try everything to make you happy, I meant it, but we did not end up happy after all. There are still so many things that I wanted to do with you.I wanted to go to the chocolate factory with you. I wanted you to attend my graduation ceremony. I wanted you to be there on my birthday. I wanted to have a proper photo of the two of us (I was surprised to find out I don't), I even wanted to see you off and change my relationship status on Facebook to widowed.

You said you wanted us to break up in good terms, but there doesn't seem to be a good term when it comes to breaking up after all. Anyway although this wasn't a happy ending I did enjoy every second being with you and I was grateful that I had you. It's been my best relationship so far.

And I suddenly found I don't really have much to remind me of you, not even a proper photo of the two of us.

Are You Happy?

70% of university graduates are unemployed a year after graduation.

There is no trust amongst people. But it's fair enough because no one is trust-worthy in this country anyway.

People in the countryside were excluded from the unemployment figure, which would have been pentupled.

People are forced to abort and be sterilized when they are 'reproducing outside of the plan'. People volunteer to take abortion when they know it is a girl.

50 million men would never find a wife because there was 50 million less women in the country than men. This situation is worsening.

Free publishing, political party forming, rallying and speech are constitutional but illegal.

Laws are only there to be broken.

Youtube, Wikipedia, Facebook and Twitter are non-accessible without superior internet techniques to go pass the great firewall. However, similar (pirated) websites of perverted control under the government had been popular.

The most popular IM service watches every single word you type and searches your computer for any signs of political material.

Domestic antivirus services leave back doors and Trojan horses for government to access the computer while deleting political materials.

In an effort of establishing a 'harmonic society' any voice different from the party is muted, any people to try to protect their own rights are jailed or hospitalized as 'psycho'.

There has actually been a significant population of professional petitioners in the capital who were treated inhumanely both in the capital and in their hometown. They are professional beggars begging for their justice, but usually got chased around and beaten up by police.

People are able to vote for their local government, although all candidates are from the same political party.

Many in big cities could not afford one square metre of an apartment with their annual salary, while public servants took 90% of public housing on a 6-digit monthly salary plus countless benefits.

House prices are skyrocketing while large real estate developers buys up land like crazy and not really building on it, which only pushes the house prices even higher.

People were forced to relocate from 20-year-old buildings, given around 10% of what their property is worth to have their houses demolished and rebuilt and sold for 10 times the price, only to be demolished again in 20 years.

Despite the high price of property, people who bought a house does not own it, instead, the government will have it back after 70 years.

Health insurance of any kind is non-existent, while a cold could cost people a third of their monthly salary to be cured.

Expensive and non-relevant medical checks are always prescribed.

Even medications could be fake.

Food prices went up 300% in the past 5 years, while people's income barely ever increased.

Food is poison. Seafood treated with formalin, nuts and dry mushrooms with sulphur, cured meat with artificial colouring and extreme level of nitrous, milk with urea, grains with mineral oil...

Over 5 million people were forced to relocate in order to build a dam.

In some cities air pollution is undetectable because it is way over the range of measuring devices.

Less than 4% of the state budget was directed to education, while more than 30% was used to keep the government functioning.

Education is brainwashing. People are educated to lie, the higher education they receive the better liar they are.

40 million of mainly agricultural poplation starved to death during the years 1958-1961, not because they did not have food but because they lied about the productivity which leaded to taxation of their whole production.

While bragging about its minors policy, the minors are forced to abandon their languages, religious beliefs, cultural traditions and land or livestock they live on. Majority immigrants flooded their land, stole the natural resources and threatened their very existence.

The party in power knows precisely that what its name implies would never happen, but its members and non-members believed it and trusted the party will lead them there.

People believe a higher degree of authority will give them justice when they think they are wronged. When they found out even the highest authority in the country would not give them justice, they went for the United Nations for help.

Governments cover whatever they have done wrong, and every public servant covers for each other.

Corruption is the norm and bribery is mandatory.

Are you really happy with your life there?

On iHype

I think I have become less and less impressed with Apple and its products over the years.

Before I own any Apple products I was quite impressed with its design, all the way back in the first iMac and iBook. But back in the days Apple products are way too expensive for our home so we were not very tempted to buy it although it does look good. I actually managed to grow up without ever touching a computer running Mac OS, but everyone's using Windows back in those days anyway.

The first time that I used a Mac was in a computer lab in Melbourne Uni, when i had to finish the week's genetics homework there. I was not impressed with the experience at all. I could not find a power button on the iMac, so turning it on took me more than 10 minutes. I tried to maximize a window and kept clicking the green button and that was another 10 minutes before I gave up. The mouse have no right button which really annoys me. And when I finally finished the work I had trouble finding a way to turn either the program or the computer off. I remembered it took me like 10 minutes to get used to Windows and do all the basics when I hadn't even touched a mouse before, and spending 10 minutes to find out how to turn on a Mac with 10 years experience with computers is just ridiculous. And not being able to maximize a window, no right mouse key and weird way to turn off a program or the computer, I don't get the point (it's not that it hadn't been invented and used on a rival for more than 20 years by then). And one thing Mac users kept bragging about is actually the ease of use comparing to Windows.

And then I owned an iPhone 3GS when it just came out and I am still using it atm. I am generally quite comfortable with the phone with a huge library of apps to enjoy and stuff. I don't have to worry of getting lost in the city anymore for one thing. And it did start to change my life a bit, like I'd have Wikipedia in hand when I'm in the middle of an argue so we know who's right instead of arguing all the way on, I'd recognize music that I don't know on the streets and so on. It started to get to me though when I realized how closed the iOS is. I can't access flash contents on the internet only because Apple doesn't like it (don't talk to me about HTML5, I don't see it replacing flash for at least 5 years - it's not only about video streams either, too many company websites have adopted flash in their beautiful homepage framework, which is just stupid to ignore all those), I need to pay extra just for tethering (which I didn't), I can't make my phone any more customized than a wallpaper. Of course you could change most of that by jailbreaking (which I did). I believe I bought the iPhone when it was the best in the market, but it's not anymore, not even the iPhone 4. I could get an Android which does everything my iPhone does plus more, simply because that one is open source.

And yes Apple's attitude towards its mistakes annoys me. I first noticed this when problems arise with iPhone 4's antenna. It's a hardware problem caused by insufficient testing prior to release. Apple's response? a cosmetic firmware fix to "improve display of signal" and free release of ugly covers. Come on, this is a hardware problem! They are just working to cover there mistakes instead of actually doing something to solve it. A responsible company would have recalled all the affected products and repair, replace or if not possible refund for the product. And for all the inferior technologies that apple adopts and argues that were not useful, they just make it an even bigger hype when they are finally releasing it a years after Apple's rivals. Right mouse key, multitasking and wallpaper on iOS, high resolution iPhone camera...

Btw, multitasking for the iOS is FAKE. Most background applications could not continue to run when they are in the background (such as an in-progress task stops processing when you press the home key and only continues when you switch aback), not to mention a lot of apps don't even try to support it. Calling that multitasking is ridiculous. Do you reckon me stop typing to pick up the phone and returning to typing after the phone call multitasking? I'd reckon typing while you are making the phone call multitasking. Not many people can multitask really well and that's why we want the iOS to do it, if it's just switching we could do it better than the iOS.

I have hence determined that Apple products are for the low intelligence, not me.

Dreaming of Reading

I'm not sure whether it is true that dreams always have a certain meaning, especially recurring dreams.

I realized since I moved into this house 10 months ago (Yes it took me that long to realize) that I started a recurring dream of reading. I did not have an idea what I was reading in those dreams but I certainly was. I think I have never dreamed of those before. I recall most of the reading happened right in my bed where I was dreaming, but I don't recall any of the details of the materials I was reading. They are definitely full of words though so I suppose they are articles (as opposed to documents or images), I think I'm certain some of the reading materials were scientific while others unknown. And I always forget all what I was reading when I wake up. I am not sure whether those things were written in a language that I know at all.

I don't know much about dreams but I am guessing it means something, either related to my study as Matt had suggested because I have obviously been reading quite a bit of references for my honours project, or it could be related to this house. The first theory works quite obvious and I tend to believe it (although I had such a dream a few nights ago two months after finishing the degree), but the second theory sounds a bit more attractive I'd say?

Sweet dreams.

My Inner Anarchism

I confused myself a bit lately. I found out that I would generally accept and follow rules or laws but extremely dismissal when it comes to discuss them. I think I have been like that ever after pubety but I just never realized it. I knew that my political compass is bottom right which means conservative and anarchic but I have never thought much about the anarchic part besides that I am against bureaucracy.

I don't like laws. I have been extremely clear about that since I was a kid. In my middle school back in China we are required to recite the contents of the Constitution, which is part of our 'Morality and Political Studies' mandatory all the way up to university (basically brainwashing), and the teacher stated very clearly that this will be in the exam. I think I was the only one in the class who didn't even try to recite it and obviously I failed that subject (other stuff in this subject was no better anyways, because there are plenty of laws made in China just that no one ever obeys them). I was never ashamed of that.

I tend believe laws are only commonsense made complicated, and hence it is not necessary for any society as we all learn our commonsense from parents/guardians, and a society can run perfectly well or even better relying on commonsense instead of laws. I know that sounds a bit anarchist already. Think of speed limits, if a sign says the speed limit is 60kph on this road all the vehicles would tend to drive at a speed close to that speed limit to get maximum efficiency. Yes you could say that is a good example of how laws work but imagine the sign is not there and people can go at whatever speed they want to, they would try to drive at around the same speed as other vehicles whatever it is when other vehicles are present and they can drive as fast as they want when no other cars are in the way, which makes the road more efficient. The law is not there but the order is still there, and the efficiency could improved. Penalty for speeding is also ridiculous. If all other vehicles are driving at 100kph on a 60kph road and you drive at 60kph you will be the one causing accidents not others, do you want a fine or death? As for pedestrians, they are dead no matter whether you hit them at 60kph or 100kph, but at 100 it might cause less pain.

My obeying the laws/rules might have only been a result of commonsense instead of being forced by laws/rules anyway.

On Virginity

Before I lose it, I do feel I have something to protect, that should only be available to that one worthy person. I had to be perfectionist and I had refused to give it away for a few times before I actually did because the person was not right. I lost it to someone I loved dearly and I was happy when I did, only that I hurt him badly afterwards by coming to Australia and drowned by the hopelessness of ever seeing each other again.

And then someone changed me (or I simply changed myself). I became quite loose in terms of sex, I've been through many beds after all these years and I wasn't exactly ashamed of it, I was even refusing to admit that they were ONS's because most of the times I get more than one, and when I didn't I either thought I would but they didn't or the other way around (like we didn't both deliberately meant it, at least I didn't on every start). I've even started to have a few casual lovers to stay over every now and then, I'm happy being like that, at least I thought so. Sex is cheap.

I started to crave for a relationship though after a while, and then I started looking for it. I found it hard. I kept getting ONS when i ask for a relationship because both of us could consider it as a 'trial error' afterwards, and I didn't like it. And people do use that to cover hook ups. I wished to have a proper date but always get sex dates because I fall for it at the tiniest of hints, I found it hard to control myself especially when that was someone who I think I got a chance. Of course in the end I didn't.

And then I had my first proper date in years, it didn't go that well cos I was really nervous. But things changed over a few months and we had a second date which went surprisingly good and there I had a partner. And I think the loose thoughts on sex was hence taken aback because it was hard to get this relationship even started let along keeping it going, I'm not ready to ruin it and fall back to the life I had before. I know the emptiness far too well. And as long as this relationship last I am willing do everything for it. I probably have become my first lover who saw me off to Australia in this relationship but I hope I'm more prepared than he was then.

Melbourne and Back

I didn't even wanna leave.

We chose a wicked time of year to (back) go to Melbourne, when it rains every single day. But when the sun comes out in the afternoon before it became all worth it. I could never resist Melbourne under the brightness after the rain.

We were basically just wandering around the city, visited wicked places that I've found during my stay in Melbourne before as well as some other places that I myself haven't been, and of course a lot of shopping too :P I suddenly realized how spoiled of choice I would be in Melbourne after being so repressed of choice in Adelaide for the whole year. I love the trams that goes everywhere in around the city and all thos nice restaurant and bars we've visited along the way. It was a lot of fun being back in Melbourne.

Getting together with friends had been really nice experience and I am very glad that I got to know a lot of great friends during my years in Melbourne, and it was even better to see them again. I also missed a lot of friends though cos many of them had returned to their home country that I wasn't able to see them, others I just didn't have time to see this time...

Now I'm back in Adelaide, and I seriously need to find a job, whatever that pays the bills, because I could not ask my parents to afford me anymore. I hope for the best but well I need to be more full on on that. Also I need to start applying for my graduate visa soon as I almost got everything ready. Also it is probably a good idea to clean my room as it had been awful for a while :S

Just hope things gets better, that's it for now.